Topical tips

Like to be topical so, preparing this article, wondered if anyone would write about last month’s General Synod in this issue. August being the season for silly stories it might be mentioned, so thought I’d better steer clear of that topic.

First I thought of writing about Harvest. A chance to give hard-pressed clerics ideas for a Harvest Festival sermon. Then I remembered that, although ‘all is safely gathered in’ before the end of August, and, with modern farming methods has been for years before Climate Change became the 40th Article, Harvest Festivals are unchangeably fixed in September in the Anglican tradition.

Still looking for topicality, mustn’t forget that we’re on Lap 2 of the 2012 Jubolympics. Both the Jubilee and the Olympics have a powerful theological theme. No, not that one addressed by Archbishop Rowan in his St Paul’s Jubilee sermon. Rather the fact that the Jubilee Concert (‘Macca’, Rapper ‘Will.i.am’, Cheryl Cole et al) and the Olympics Opening Ceremony (‘Macca’ again) must have revitalized a belief in the horrors of Hell.

Still seeking inspiration from the sports pages, while looking to see who’ll be AFC Wimbledon’s latest mega-million signing, I came across the betting odds on who’ll be the next Archbishop of Canterbury. That’s it! If ‘The Torygraph’ and even ‘The Church Whines’ keep bringing you the odds, why not ND? So here goes.

Odds On: Richard Holloway. Allegedly believes in nothing now, bound to attract much support in Synod.

Evens: Stephen Fry. Can’t escape him wherever you go. Written even more books than Rowan.

2 to 1 (and what a two!): Jordan. If we’re going to have women bishops, she’d give the CofE much-needed appeal to Sun readers.

10,000 to 1: anyone in the leadership of FiF or Reform.

A final bet: 2013, the 60th Anniversary of Coronation. What odds on ‘Macca’ being on the Concert platform for that?

Alan Edwards

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